Christmas...
A Time of Reflection...
OR
A New Year Resolution for 2005

Why am I writing this? Now that things are slowing down for Xmas and I'm actually having time for some R&R (rest and reflection); and since it's the time of year to share quality time with friends and family -- I also got some time to think about things that I would like to see change that I'm not so happy about...

As an example, for those of you who are an integral part of the World of Salsa... there are moments in every city where we have our own Salsa Soap Operas or Rivalries -- who is putting down someone else on how they dance, which dance group is better than another group, and just dancers in general who have nothing positive to say about anything, actually lie about what others did or didn't do, and feel the need to put dancers down all the time to feel good about themselves. When it happens once inawhile, most of us can laugh it off, but when there are certain individuals in our scene who are constantly breeding negativity -- you just wish they would leave our scene alone.

Well, enough is enough, everyone. There's enough room in the salsa world for everyone to have a piece of it and no one has to be the ONLY best whatever.

And for those of you who support people who breed negativity in the salsa world and/or complain without speaking to them about changing their bad habits (unless of course they are totally off their rocker) -- then shame on you! It means you are basically stating it's OK for that person to be negative and it's alright for them put people down in person or behind their back. After all, they are not doing it to you... but then again, what does that say about your own personality. That it's okay for that person to do that to others, until it happens to you personally? And then you'll have nothing to do with them? And if you let it continue, it could give your own city a bad name or a reputation that everyone is like that.

Everyone is allowed to have an opinion about others, but not at the expense of putting down or insulting others, which shows a total lack of disrespect to the salsa community in general and what we'd like and aspire to represent.

What alot of dancers don't see is the negativity that also comes via email through anonymous writers who basically insult the person they are writing to, and cowardly hide behind a fake email address or fake name. Over the past few years, we've had our share from the same IP address or two.

Dancers have asked how I can deal with such negativity all the time. It's simple. Remember the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me". If you realize why these people are insulting you, it's usually for a few simple reasons -- either they're very insecure about themselves, very jealous of your own personal success, OR have their own personal issues they aren't even aware of or won't acknowledge about themselves.

In essence, I usually end up feeling sorry for them because if they took that negativity and turned it towards positive behaviour and actions -- they could get back 10-fold what they gave out to the community. Have you ever seen anyone who loves being around people who are negative or abusive?

What makes it worse is that I also hear stories about how some dancers take advantage of others because they don't know any better or decide it's the only way that person will leave them alone; and that really irritates me too.

Since I started this working on this website 5 years ago, I've been very fortunate to meet alot of great dancers and musicians from all over the World. We all share the same passion and love for Salsa Music and Dance and respect each other's talents.

And for the social dancers, there's many readers who also share the same passion through cyberspace and it's always nice to hear the great feedback or the sharing of knowledge between dancers. It never ceases to amaze me at times at how far TOsalsa is read or viewed around the World...

As many of my colleagues know, I stand by every word I state on this website and in person, and have always strived to "walk the talk". If you don't want an honest answer, then don't ask me. If you talk behind my back and have the nerve to pretend to be my friend --please, don't be such a hypocrite and don't expect me to become your friend knowing this.

If you're just in it for the money, that's fine too, as long as you keep your negativity to yourself if you're not as successful. And maybe that is also part of the problem, when it becomes your career and there's $$$ at stake, they can forget that many of us treat Salsa as a hobby or something we enjoy doing in our spare time; and they need to respect that also.

So I guess where I'm going with this is that all dancers should consciously make decisions about who they work or dance with.

Make it part of your New Year's Resolution -- if someone negatively affecting our salsa scene, please think twice about supporting them as in the long run, it's a reflection on all of us as individuals and as a salsa community. Unless, of course, they have already learned from their mistakes.

P.S. I thought high school was over...