August 8, 2003

On Correcting Partners

We will post any constructive feedback from our readers.


  Reader's Comment
Our Feedback... May 13, 2003 - Salsera's response
May 14, 2003 - T's response
June 1, 2003 - Nadia's response
June 4, 2003 - Betto's response
July 9, 2003 - Mambo Italiano's response to Betto
July 13, 2003 - Betto's response to Mambo Italiano
July 14, 2003 - John's response to Mambo Italiano
New!
 August 8, 2003 - Helen's response from Amsterdam
 


May 13, 2003 -- On correcting partners

I rarely ever do this but there is one guy on the salsa scene that I can't help correcting. Every time I've danced with him, he's been terribly rough but totally oblivious to his affect on my balance and my ability to dance with ease. I try to tell him carefully that he should treat me more gently, but I assume that he doesn't believe me because he reverts back to his manhandling very soon after.

Ladies, what should we do about guys that think they have to push us around? I tried just not dancing with this guy, and then I tried just talking to this guy, but in both cases he doesn't learn anything. -- Anonymous

The Feedback....

May 13, 2003 -- On correcting partners

I think I know who you may be talking about cause I too have danced with someone who has been described as a "rough lead" by someone who knows them personally. However, I may also be wrong as I'm sure there is more than one person who has this tendency. My advice: Just tell him upfront that the two of you simply can't dance together anymore. Cause you've obviously done all you can do to communicate to him that his style doesn't match yours. And keep saying 'no' if he persists. To branch out on this discussion a bit, I find that I correct partners when they are bumping into other dancers or if both of us are cause they are the ones who are leading -- Salsera

May 14, 2003 -- On correcting partners

You can do nothing, just try not to dance with this guy.
If you keep correcting him he'll tell everybody that you are a "bitch" and nobody will dance with you ... men's nature... -- T

June 1 , 2003 -- Correcting your partner

Everyone is different. When a dancer tells me things likes,"Opps! I am sorry," and the like, I do not get upset or annoyed. It's a sign of insecurity from their part. I try to give them encouragement by telling them, "It's okay, just try it again." Perhaps it's part of my nature to encourage the learning process. Sometimes all it takes is confidence and a little push. If they ask me for corrections, then I will give it to them if I know. -- Nadia

June 4, 2003 -- Correcting partners

Hello ladies, I can't believe any guys haven't answered to your posts!
Well from my point of view you should not correct a partner while social dancing! It is not courteous. Unless your opinion has been asked for first! If the guy who you are dancing with is leading you dangerously and your well-being is on the line, then go ahead and make up an excuse to leave the dance floor! By no means continue to put yourself in danger. I lead and follow very well and I just hate when guys lead me into crazy moves almost ripping my arms off my shoulders! Now as a leader, I hate when I'm dancing and the girl try to put me back on clave! Giving me a look like I can't heart the beat! 99% of the time I'm right. Some songs change the beat but it's not the follower's job to keep the beat. The follower’s job is to follow! And the leader's is to (1) stay on the beat, (2) keep your partner safe, (3) allow some freedom to the follower to style (express her/himself) -- Betto

July 9, 2003 -- Respondind to Bettos In correcting partners

That is a great post I could not have said it better my self. You know Some times I blame the instructors for that because they push the lead and follow idea the wrong way. They make it think that unless a guy leads you correct you do not move, so from a girl you always get "that was not a strong lead? I don’t understand what you want to do? You are giving me the wrong signal BLA, BLA, BLA.They can be very heavy some times there are girls that rip my arms out...

I am tired of that, They tend to forget that they need to know their step as well and help the man lead them, we are there as support for them to keep their balance and to present them, What the instructors should teach is to use the man to help them do their moves (Cross body leads, spins Ect....)

On the other hand there are a lot of guys that are ruff and need to cool down it is not about power its about grace and flow. -- Mambo Italiano

July 13, 2003 -- Correcting Partners/Responce to Mambo Italiano

Thank you for those comment MI,
About what you said of too strong/too light Lead and Follow.
I think that we are getting a little bit out of the topic here but here it goes! I use the "Signal and Lead" theory. What I mean is that for every move that you execute while dancing there is always 'a signal' and 'a lead' a beat or count later. I.E. leading a basic right turn on (1) or (2). The Signal comes on the (3)(1) with the man raising the ladies arm, and the man starts guiding the turn on (5)(2). Also what I think about while leading my partner that she is "blind, deaf and mute" so my lead needs to be so obvious and clear that all she has to do is feel it. When I follow, all I think about is follow the hand! Most of the moves that guys put me through involve some kind of handhold so if you just simplify it to that (follow the hand) no matter how twisted the turn pattern is you'll be able to follow it! I hope this helps some one! Betto

July 14, 2003 -- Correcting your partner

Mambo Italiano, I do agree with Betto (a good friend and dancer). Please do not blame the instructors for pushing the lead and follow technique. I believe this is a must but it does take time to be good at being a leader and follower. There are guys that lead way too strongly. I know I did in the beginning. There are ladies that are "dance heavy". They feel the lead but do not want to go so the guy ends up using more force than normal to keep her on the beat.

Leading and following requires time and practice plus good training. As you are learning these techniques you will fall in a lot of categories (won't move, too strong of a lead, weak lead, etc). Eventually if you listen to comments made by the person you are dancing with and start adjusting you will get to the point where you will be able to lead and/ or follow easily.

The guy is definitely there to help the lady complete her move. We are her support and communcation center. We communicate what we want her to do then provide the support she needs to perform the communicated move.

We all tend to correct our partner from time to time. If we can avoid it while social dancing, we should. If it is in you nature, try to minimize it!! Make the dancing FUN!!! Have a great day. John

August 8, 2003 -- correcting your partner

Great site - I love browsing through your discussion forum! It's fun to see that you're by and large discussing the same topics as we do over here in Amsterdam (lively salsa scene!).

Since the discussion on correcting partners (as far as I'm concerned: unsollicited correcting is in pirnciple a big don't in social dancing)shifted somewhat to "powerfull" leaders: I found that good dancers adapt their style of leading (including the amount of force they use) to their partner. Not every lady is equally "heavy" or "light", and one is not necessarily better than the other. One of my salsa friends (a very good dancer) told me that he actually likes that; it adds an extra dimension to the interaction and it also gives him the opportunity to explore different styles - he described it as "dramatic" and "macho" as opposed to more "subtle" and "refined"; each equally fun. It may be a lot to ask from beginning salseros, but I guess teachers can't stress enough that dancing is something you do together! -- Helen

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